Tomorrow I go into the woods with two friends, hunting elk.
There’s a strange desire curve that goes with hunting. In the time before I go, it fills my whole mind and makes it hard to think of anything else. I picture the fleeting glimpse of an elk, not even the whole animal. In my minds eye I simply see the rippling muscle behind his shoulder, and try to pick out one specific hair on which to put my sight. I see it over and over, in a hundred different ways. I lay awake thinking of how hard it will be to pack him out after I get him. I worry about how much it will cost to get him stuffed and mounted if I accidentally take a trophy animal. I worry about how to make room in my freezer for the meat.
All of this, of course, before the animal is even seen, let along arrowed, let alone dead.
Once I get to the camp, though, everything changes. Get a fire going, get a bit of red wine in a tin camping cup… and I think, “The elk can wait. It would be so hard to dress him, and cost so much to have him mounted…”
But then I push through, I walk out into the setting sun to scout, I wake up the next morning while it’s still black outside. And everything I fantasized about fades away. The reality of forest and mountain wipes out all the daydreams about trophy bulls. The delight of moving through the forest soundlessly fills me. The sounds of forest creatures going about their lives pulse with power and mystery.
I cannot explain it. I cannot point to anything in scripture that would tell me why it’s true. But in the mountains, much more than in the city, I can feel the closeness of an omnipotent being who speaks universes into existence. Forest mornings, it’s possible to get a sense of the raw, mind-numbing POWER of God.
This weekend, I know I will be content to sit in the presence of the Father and enjoy the fact that he permits me to watch him work. If he lets me take part, and help steward his creation by taking game, so much the better.